And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize