my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
a search helicopter?!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
