it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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