I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
