no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
