we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
