The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
