it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
