well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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