How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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