I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
