Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
