We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
