when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
