but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
