She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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