I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Randomize
