You made me cry and you don't even care
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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