Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
