i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize