sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
