in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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