My boss' voice literally gives me gas
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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