I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
