Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
