Your dad touched me again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
