After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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