Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
