why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
