I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
