I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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