Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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