I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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