Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
