Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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