The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
