Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
