This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
