So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
