I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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