Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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