Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
