took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
