I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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