this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
