Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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