Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
