So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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