fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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