Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
