Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
