I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
