so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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