i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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