Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
