Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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