We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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