I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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